All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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