you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
