Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
