I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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