started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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