We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
