i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
