Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize