Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
