I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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