Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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