i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
