ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
