Dual....:-)
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize