just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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