I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
