thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
