id be glad to
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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