Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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