Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
