You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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