After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
