I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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