i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
