it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
