I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
