I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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