how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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