Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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