I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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