it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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