Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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