they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
