your room smells of hookers.
And success
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize