Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
