dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I could fuck to npr.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize