i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
