I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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