she kept yelling 'call me bella'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
