So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
