walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
