The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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