Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
