His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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