I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
smell my finger.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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