she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
