You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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