If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
