He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
