this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You pole danced in your parka.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
