As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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