I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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