every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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