Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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