i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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