just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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