i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize