isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
