we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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